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  • Helpful Links| Having Our Say

    Resources provided are for informational purposes and are not intended to take the place of a certified speech language pathologist.    Helpful Links Having Our Say believes in the importance of offering resources and tips to parents and caregivers. We understand that parents and caregivers are our children's most valuable teachers. With the right resources and coaching, together we can ensure children continue to make progress outside of therapy sessions. Although the focus is helping children with speech and language delays, you will find activities that will enhance communication and language skills for all children. My goal is to offer a place to ask questions and find the help you need. I am NOT an expert in everything, but I would like to share my experience with you- along with some fun tips to help your child’s communication skills grow! There are hundreds of speech and language sites on the internet, but these sites have content targeted to help parents and caregivers specifically. This list is not exhaustive, nor does Having Our Say endorse or assume responsibility for the content on the sites. Resources provided on the internet are for informational purposes and are not intended to take the place of a certified speech-language pathologist.

  • DIVERSE LIBRARY | havingoursay UPDATE

    DIVERSE CHILDREN'S BOOKS Be Seen & Heard® As a speech pathologist I use books to develop language and literacy skills. As a parent, I am equally obsessed with instilling a love of reading for my children and I use books to introduce them to new places, people, and experiences. I have always been intentional about selecting a variety of books for my home library, but years ago I realized that my therapy library was not as diverse. Did you know that only 1/3 of children's books published in 2024 featured main characters from diverse backgrounds? Over 70% of children's books feature animals or white children as the main characters. That means representation is disproportionately low for disabled kids and kids who are not white. This section of my site features books that depict children from different cultures, ethnicities and experiences - including the books that I authored. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but gives you a glimpse at some of the books that I have used. The images include an affiliate link and as an Amazon associate I may receive a small percentage from qualifying purchases. SEARCH BOOKS RETURN TO TAYE JONES

  • Espinas Mezcal Ad | havingoursay UPDATE

    Espinas Mezcal Ad Client: Espinas Year: 2023 This is placeholder text. To change this content, double-click on the element and click Change Content. To manage all your collections, click on the Content Manager button in the Add panel on the left. Previous Next

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Blog Posts (83)

  • When “Mature,” “Anxious,” and “Focused” Meant Something Else

    Many Gen X and Millenial women are reaching perimenopause and finding themselves asking a question they never expected: Why does everything feel harder now? For years—decades even, things may have looked “fine” on the outside. You were described as mature for your age. Maybe you were deeply focused, had strong interests, or were known for being organized and responsible. If challenges showed up, they were often labeled as anxiety. That was me. Perimenopause has a way of shifting things. As estrogen and progesterone levels drop, the systems that once helped you manage, compensate, and push through don’t always work in the same way. What was once manageable started to feel overwhelming. Sensory sensitivities may feel more intense. Emotional regulation can take more effort. Executive functioning—planning, organizing, starting tasks—may not come as easily as it once did. For many women, this isn’t about something new developing. It’s about something long-standing becoming harder to mask. And that realization can be both disorienting and clarifying. What if it wasn’t just anxiety?What if it wasn’t just personality?What if the traits that were praised—or misunderstood—were actually signs of neurodivergence that went unrecognized? For many, perimenopause becomes a turning point. A moment of connecting the dots. For me it offered a reframing of a lifetime of experiences and a new understanding. And with that understanding comes the opportunity to seek support that actually fits—support that acknowledges how your brain works, not just how well you’ve learned to adapt.

  • Why Are Girls- Especially Black Girls Diagnosed Last?

    Girls are diagnosed with autism years after white boys show the same signs. Not occasionally. Not in isolated cases. Consistently, and across the research. That is not a coincidence. It is what happens when a system is built to find one kind of child and overlooks everyone else. As a speech-language pathologist, I have sat across from families who spent years being told their daughter was difficult, dramatic, or socially immature — only to learn much later that she was autistic. The signs were always there. The system was not designed to find them. What the Research Shows Studies consistently find that Black children receive an autism diagnosis significantly later than white children. Girls, across all racial groups, are diagnosed later than boys. Black girls sit at the intersection of both gaps, which means they are among the last to be identified and among the first to be misdiagnosed. "Exploring Factors of Diagnostic Timing Among Black Autistic Youth" — Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders (2024). The delay is not because the traits appear later. It is because the traits are read differently depending on who is displaying them. The Presentation Problem The clinical understanding of autism was built almost entirely on research conducted with white boys. The traits used to identify autism — limited eye contact, restricted interests, repetitive behaviors, difficulty with social reciprocity — were documented in that population and codified as the standard presentation. Girls present differently. They tend to mask. They study social scripts, mirror peers, and work hard to appear typical in public settings. By the time they get home, they are exhausted and dysregulated — and that dysregulation is often the only visible sign something is wrong. Black girls present differently still. Their masking is frequently more practiced, because the cost of being perceived as difficult is higher. Emotional dysregulation in a Black girl is rarely recognized as an autism trait. It is more often labeled as a behavioral problem, an attitude, or a discipline issue. Quiet hyperfocus reads as shyness. Masking reads as good social skills. A meltdown reads as a tantrum. By the time anyone considers a developmental evaluation, years have passed. What Gets Missed When a Black girl goes undiagnosed, the consequences compound. She does not receive early intervention services. She does not get accommodations in school. She is evaluated for behavior plans instead of support plans. She learns that her needs are inconvenient, that her responses to overwhelm are character flaws, and that the adults around her expect her to manage herself without ever having been taught how. I know first hand what that costs a child. I also know what changes when a family finally gets accurate information. The signs that were always there do not disappear with a diagnosis, but the story around them does. What Clinicians and Educators Need to Know Autism does not look the same in every child. A Black girl who is quiet, socially observant, and performing well enough to stay under the radar is not outside the diagnostic picture. She may be sitting in the center of it. Before concluding a child does not meet criteria, ask: Is she masking? What does her behavior look like at home versus at school? Has she been evaluated using tools normed on a population that looks like her? Are the concerns being raised about her behavior, or about her development? Who referred her and who didn't? The referral gap is its own problem. Black children are less likely to be referred for autism evaluations by the educators and pediatricians who see them most. If the adults around a child do not consider autism a possibility, the evaluation never happens. The Diagnosis She Was Always Owed A diagnosis is not a label. It is access. It's the language a child and her family need to understand what is actually happening, to ask for what she actually needs, and to stop carrying explanations that were never accurate. Black girl (woman) if you were told you were too emotional, too sensitive, too much — and no one ever asked why — this is worth looking into. You were not mismanaged. You were undiagnosed in a system that was not built to find you. Shontaye is a late diagnosed AuDHD speech-language pathologist with years of experience working with neurodivergent children and families. If you found this post useful, share it with a parent, educator, or clinician who needs to read it.

  • Choosing Toys That Support Language and Play

    I love using toys in therapy—almost as much as I love playing with them. What may look like “just playing” is actually children learning, communicating, and making sense of their environment. When you select toys that support language and play, children develop language, practice social skills, and connect meaningfully with others. As a speech-language pathologist, I shop for toys with intention. Yes, they should be fun—but they should also support learning. The toys I choose help children maintain attention, practice turn-taking, learn new vocabulary, follow directions, and engage in shared play. Here are a few things to consider when shopping for toys: 1. Choose Developmentally Appropriate Toys Select toys that match the child’s developmental level, not just their chronological age. Toys that are too advanced can be frustrating, while toys that are too simple may limit engagement and learning opportunities. 2. Limit Noisy and Light-Up Toys to Support Language As adults, we often assume that high-tech toys are best for learning. In reality, talking or noisy toys can limit opportunities for interaction and encourage solitary play. Children may become hyper-focused on the lights and sounds rather than using their own language or engaging with others. Simple toys often create richer opportunities for communication. 3. Don’t Forget the Classics Classic toys never go out of style—and for good reason. Shape sorters, pop-up toys, toy cars and trucks, stacking rings, and blocks are excellent for toddlers and preschoolers. These toys encourage imagination, problem-solving, and interaction with a play partner. Other great options include baby dolls, Mr. Potato Head, puzzles, action figures, and cash registers. 4. Encourage Pretend Play Child-sized tool benches, play kitchens, grocery sets, dress-up clothes, and tea sets are always a hit. These toys allow children to use their own language, role-play real-life experiences, take turns, solve problems, and build social communication skills. 5. Say Yes to Board and Card Games Board games are fun and packed with learning opportunities. They teach turn-taking, following rules, problem-solving, and language skills. While “old-school” games may seem boring to some, they shouldn’t be overlooked for their developmental value. As you shop for new toys, think about what a toy can do and  what skills it can help teach. There’s nothing wrong with sneaking a little learning into the fun—especially when play is the best teacher of all.

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