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2020 has been wild, and like everything else the holiday season looks very different too. Our version of "normal" has changed, but I believe that this year has brought us many gifts, like the gift of patience, stillness, and appreciating the value of health, healing, friendship, family, time, and love. As we wrap up this unprecedented year, I still find myself excited and looking forward to the holidays. Here is my annual holiday shopping guide to help you celebrate and find engaging and stimulating gifts for the little ones in your life. *Please note this post contains affiliate links and I may receive a very small commission from qualifying purchases* 1. Books! Of course books are number one on my list. They are the gift that keeps on giving all year round. Whether you select picture books, easy readers, or graphic novels- books continue to be a wonderful way to enhance learning, language, and literacy. As parents and caregivers, reading together strengthens bonds and enhances communication. Check below and see where I pair some of my favorite books with games and toys. 2. Limit noisy toys. Talking or “noisy” toys often provide less opportunities for group play and inadvertently encourage solitary play (meaning less talking to others.) Talking toys can become a distraction and children become entranced with the lights and sounds as opposed to the actual message being offered. 3. Old School Toys. For toddlers and preschoolers, consider shape sorters, pop-up toys, toys cars/ trucks, and stacking rings and blocks. Classic toys like these encourage interaction with a partner and use of language, imagination and problem solving skills. Mr. Potato Head and cash registers are fun and engaging too. I used to LOVE playing store and counting the fake money. Cash registers are much more sophisticated these days, but still tons of fun. Speaking of favorites, Saturday is one of my favorite picture books. It is a sweet story about a Mom and daughter and all of the things they love to do on Saturdays. You can pair this book with any toy or gift it alone. 4. Play kitchens, grocery sets, tool kits, gardening sets, dress up clothes, and tea sets... Children love to imitate grown ups. Activity sets that let kids engage in adult tasks are great toy ideas. Children can integrate their own language. They can role play, practice taking turns, use their imagination, and integrate problem solving skills into play. Try gifting the book Jabari Tries with a tool set or if you have a future scientist on your hands, try pairing a cool science experiment kit with the book Fairy Science book or More than a Princess. 5. Board games. They are a fun alternative to video games, especially during a year when our kids spent hours and hours on screens. Board games teach many skills and are a fun option for family game night. You can improve memory, attention, math skills, problem solving skills and social skills with just one game!. Memory games remain one of my favorites to improve attention, concentration, and focus. I found this adorable memory barbershop game from a shop that specializes in diverse toys for kids. I already ordered one to pair with Liam's First Cut! I hope you find these tips helpful as you continue your shopping. If you are looking for holiday books or winter-themes, don't forget to browse my diverse book list. I wish you good health, peace, and all of the joy, wonder, and magic that the holiday season brings. From my family to yours- Happy Holidays xo

Unpopular opinion: Turkey is just ok. As a matter of fact, I would be just fine without having it on our Thanksgiving menu, but my family would never allow such a thing. I bet you're probably thinking, "she just hasn't had it prepared properly." Well- I have had it brined, injected, basted and baked. We have had deep-fried, cajun and even jerked, but turkey no longer has the appeal for me that it once did. I'm also not a fan of cranberry sauce, but I digress. We are midway through the month of November and I want to remind and challenge you to move beyond turkey. I don't mean on your dinner table, rather I am talking about your therapy activities, books, and crafts. Usually I go from pumpkins and monsters straight to turkeys, but November has so much more to offer. Some families do not celebrate Thanksgiving, but teaching lessons on gratitude is universal. November is also a time to honor the contributions of Indigenous People and celebrate Native American Heritage Month (if you are looking for authentic literature by Native authors, read my blog post from Indigenous People's Day.) A few of my favorite books that feature diverse representation and focus on gratefulness are Fry Bread, We Are Grateful, and We Are Water Protectors Bilal Cooks Daal and Thank You Omu are also top choices when I am looking for stories that depict the power of friendship, kindness, sharing, fellowship, and community. These books are great for targeting inferencing skills and offer unique vocabulary. I like to pair them with a "cooking activity" like making our own version of friendship soup or playing stone soup. November also marks the beginning of the holiday season when families typically gather and celebrate. I was reminded by a student (being raised by her sibling) that families are not one size fits all. They may look different, but all family structures should be honored and respected. Some children are raised in single-parent homes, some are being raised by grandparents. The variations are endless so I also try to share stories that show different types of family structures. Who's in My Family? is a great story that shows the youngest of readers how families may look different and come in different sizes, but what matters most is being surrounded by people that you love and that love you back. Until next time, thank YOU for being here,

This week I am pleased to have a guest taking over the blog. Melissa is is a pediatric OT with years of experience working with children privately and in schools. Now that we are a few months into the 2020 school year, I asked her to share some of her practical strategies to help our students (and us) adjust and succeed while learning remotely. Hi! I'm Melissa DelaTorre. I am an occupational therapist, wife and mom of adorable twin toddlers Molly and Max. As a school-based OT, my typical (pre-COVID) days involved very little sitting or computer time. I didn't even have a desk at work! Needless to say, this shift to remote learning has been a big one for me and many therapists. In the beginning, I enjoyed the challenge of creating activities using household items as supplies and finding ways to make my sessions fun. But as these circumstances persist, I have had to move beyond creating fun sessions and concentrate on helping my students focus and engage for their entire remote learning experience. Here are a few ideas that have helped my students succeed in remote learning: Schedule: Remote? Hybrid? In person? Whatever it is we are all feeling the stress of our constantly changing schedules. Children, like adults, thrive with predictable routines. In a world where their routines were essentially thrown out the window, they are struggling. One way to support them is to utilize a printed, visual schedule. -For older children who can read, I found it helpful to make a weekly, color- coded schedule with each discipline, special, and teacher in their own color (extra points if these colors coordinate with notebooks!). -For the little ones, a daily visual schedule with use of easily identifiable pictures can help with transitions throughout the day. You can use clip art or actual photos of each teacher/activity. Environment: The most important and possibly the hardest factor in setting up our children for success in the home, is the environment. Our homes are full of extra distractions that are not present in school. It is important to have the proper set-up to allow our children to focus. -Seating: An ideal desk and chair setup follows a 90:90:90 rule. The child’s hips, knees, and feet are all at a 90-degree angle, ensuring proper body position. If you do not have access to child-sized furniture, there are ways to achieve this position with modifications. Books or shoe boxes can be utilized to allow your child’s feet to reach the floor. A pillow or rolled up towel can be placed behind their back to allow them to sit up straight. Simple changes to their set up may have a great impact on their ability to focus and attend. Watch for signs of poor posture and positioning such as swinging feet, slumped posture, sitting on feet, etc. and be sure to try some of these simple modifications! Distractions: I have seen a lot of AMAZING home setups where parents go above and beyond to create a school themed learning space! As much as I love the effort, unfortunately, for some, this may be distracting and over-stimulating. A computer screen provides a ton of visual input and having the alphabet on their table may actually make it harder to attend to the screen. -Blank slate: In efforts to further limit visual distractions, it is ideal to have your child facing a blank wall versus a busy room or window. -Privacy screen: If a blank slate setup is not possible, you can easily create a privacy screen by placing a cardboard box behind the computer screen to block out the background. -Headphones: Headphones have helped my students (and me) to focus during remote sessions. For children who can tolerate use of headphones, this is a great option to limit auditory distractions. Over-the-ear versus in- the-ear have proven to be more less distracting. Movement: Kids CRAVE movement and are being asked to move even less than before, while learning at home, as well as those who are physically attending school. This is extremely difficult for a lot of our children and we are seeing them struggle to adapt. Whether they are fidgeting, running away from the screen, staring at the wall, or just plain dreading their virtual session- movement can help! -Movement breaks: Movement breaks are essential to get our body and brain ready to learn. They should be done as a preventative measure so have your child take a movement break before they are too far gone. Here are some more structured movement break ideas: Balloon Breathing: Have your child fill up their balloon (belly) with air while raising their arms above their heads, then blow all of their air out while lowering their hands down. Wall pushups: Place both hands on a wall and both feet placed away from the wall to create a 45-degree angle. Slowly lower yourself until your nose touches the wall, then push yourself back up. Don't move your feet! Animal walks: Bear crawls, crab walks, snake crawl, bunny hops, frog jumps, etc. -Changing body positions: Adjusting body position and engaging different muscles can have a great impact on a child’s attention level and can be done in any environment! You can try having them sit on a pillow, a chair, or on the floor. Ask them to lay on their belly on the floor or stand/kneel at a taller table. -Fidgets: Fidgets can easily be made with items found in your home! My favorite fidgets are ones that cannot be played with or moved. I love placing velcro or taping sandpaper underneath a desk or chair. This provides tactile input without becoming a visual distraction. If your child can tolerate a handheld fidget without becoming more distracted, there are tons of DIY handheld fidgets utilizing household objects. One simple idea is a DIY stress ball made by filling a balloon with flour, water beads, or even play dough! Visual breaks: Our eyes are not used to staring at computer screens all day. Just like our bodies and minds, they require a break. “Fire eyes” is a quick visual break that my students and I enjoy during our sessions. I instruct them to make a fire with their hands by rubbing them together really fast. Once their hands feel “hot” they cup them and place them over their closed eyes and count to ten until their hands have cooled down . This provides a great visual break, as well as some tactile and proprioceptive input to help them refocus! Always remember that each child is different and what works for one may not always work for the next. Be patient with your children and be gentle with yourself! This adventure we are on is a new one and we are learning as we go. Take 5 balloon breathes and remind yourself you got this! Follow Melissa on Instagram, and if you have questions or want to chat more, email her at melissasmilestones@gmail.com.

We have made it to the last quarter of the wildest year. Is it just me or did summer come and go in the blink of an eye? Honestly this whole year has flown by- except for the moments where it seemed we were stuck on pause. September was a busy month as well. We returned to school AND my new book was published! In case you missed it Liam's First Cut is here! It is a story about Liam, an autistic Black boy preparing for his first visit to the barbershop. I wrote this book with the intention of it being a mirror for some and a sliding glass door for others. I crafted this story to give representation to groups that are often hidden from children's literature, but also to celebrate (and normalize) our differences. I hosted a virtual book release and signing on Instagram and Facebook on 9/29/20. Thank you for every purchase, share, word of encouragement, and review. If you haven't purchased your copy, you can get your copy of Liam's First Cut here. The book is also available on Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, and other resellers. I will be sharing some book companion activities soon, so stay tuned! Tomorrow is October 12th and I want to commemorate the day by sharing a few titles to celebrate Indigenous People's Day. These books were the recipients of the 2020 American Indian Youth Literature Awards, which honors the very best writing and illustrations by Native Americans and Indigenous peoples of North America. The books selected "present Indigenous North American peoples in the fullness of their humanity." Click here for a full listing of titles in all categories. **You can shop these titles below and more under my diverse book list. Before I go, can we discuss Halloween? Halloween is one of my favorite holidays and I cannot fathom a year where we cannot celebrate. I have been searching for safe and socially-distant ways to dress up and share some Halloween fun. In addition to drive-thru events, visiting pumpkin patches and hay rides, I am offering this tip for all of my parents, caregivers, and craft-loving SLP friends. This tip is perfect for fall and comes from Mom and Blogger @thatmommyjoy. Check out the details from her toddler-approved painting party: Pumpkin Painting Party: (Socially Distant Of course) Grab some pumpkins and get creative. We opted for Glow in the Dark Pumpkins to spice things up this year. I think I was more excited than the kids were. I found small pumpkins at the Dollar Tree for the kids, and White and Black Pumpkins at Michaels for the adults. You can read more from Joy and find her tips for Fall and Halloween 2020 here Until next time, Shontaye

Is your child nervous about heading back to school? Or maybe it is you? Are you a parent, educator, SLP, or school employee with anxiety over the start of the school year? The beginning of any school year can be anxiety-producing, but this year is full of unusual dynamics and many new challenges. Some students here in NJ will be starting the year 100% remote, while others will have a hybrid program consisting of in-person and remote learning. It is all quite nerve-racking. I found a great article from The Child Mind Institute to help manage those back to school worries. The authors offer practical strategies to help you help your child cope with anxiety and give them ways to tolerate and get through situations. I also wanted to offer a few tips of my own specifically for parents with children who have speech and language disorders and receive related services. If you are a professional that works with children, you may want to share these tips with the families you work with as well. Ask your therapist (OT, PT, SLP) about materials he/ she plans to use during your virtual session. It helps to be prepared in advance and have all of those items handy. Whether it is scissors and glue, or materials for a fun hands-on activity, having all of the necessary items in pace will help your child be prepared and stay focused. Does your child's therapist integrate play in their therapy? Send a note and let them know what board games/ card games/ toys you have at home. They may be able to plan activities using what you already have. Books! Teachers share books in class and many speech language pathologists use books in therapy too (I definitely do!) Ask your teacher/ therapist for book titles that are planned. Many books are now available on YouTube for free. You may even be able to find a link that shows the author reading their work or a famous celebrity like Oprah! The American Speech-Hearing Language Association (ASHA) is also providing parents with very specific solutions for common challenges that parents may face. You can read the list of strategies here. Before I go, I also wanted to offer you a few book titles that are helpful in easing worries and building confidence. It's important to acknowledge the array of emotions we all are feeling these days and that includes our children and students. Here are 5 books that help support, nurture, and empower little people. Be well, ~Shontaye

I am excited to feature a guest blogger for this post. Khalia Murray is the Founder of Ms.Murray's Corner and is here to offer some practical tips for adjusting to the start of this (unusual) school year. She currently resides in Atlanta, GA and has been an educator for six years. Khalia is committed to ensuring students reach their academic potential. You can learn more about Khalia at www.msmurrayscorner.com and look for future posts offering virtual learning tips for educators. Virtual Learning is a brand new experience for many students, their families, and teachers! We are all learning and growing together through this process. I would definitely tell parents to give their children, their teachers and themselves "grace". There may be technical difficulties, your child may feel over it for the day, or their teacher may send out the wrong link. It's okay! TAKE A DEEP BREATH, relax for a minute, then give it another try. Parents should be encouraging and an active participant in their child's online learning experience. Parents, YOU GOT THIS :) Don't ever doubt yourself! Here's another tip. Make it fun for them! During a break, allow them to do something fun that they enjoy before having to sign back on. GoNoodle, Just Dance, and Kidz Bop are awesome for quick wiggle breaks. Kids love treats! At the end of the day or week, provide some incentives. The Dollar Store and Target's Dollar section are great places to find small, inexpensive trinkets to create a Treasure Box for your child. Having a "Fun Friday" at the end of the week would also make their day. Game night, movie night, or arts and crafts  go a long way. If your child is having trouble with specific content or a topic, ask their teacher for some additional help or seek outside Virtual Tutoring. Your child may benefit from a one-on- one session. During the pandemic I created a Virtual Tutoring Company, Ms.Murray's Corner. I provide one on one services to students in Pre-K through Second Grade in Math and Literacy. Some of my favorite child-friendly applications are Reading A-Z, Starfall, ABC Mouse, Boom Learning, Zearn, and Khan Academy. Thank you again for these tips Khalia and for your insight. You can learn more about Khalia Murray at www.msmurrayscorner.com and look for future posts on her site offering virtual learning tips for educators. Best of luck and stay safe, Shontaye

This year has been beyond unpredictable to say the least! Our in-person school year ended abruptly and now our summer is ending and we must prepare for schools to reopen. What does that look like for you? in NJ, parents have been given the option to select a remote learning program or students can participate in an in-person hybrid model. I still don’t know what any of this means for me as I return to providing school-based services. It has left me with a great deal of uncertainty as a parent as well as a professional. I have come to terms with the fact that some of my therapy activities will have to be temporarily abandoned and/ or revised to ensure the safety of my students. As much as I love to use sensory bins in school, I know that is one activity that will have to be modified. If you are looking for fun alternatives to sensory bins, visit Fun in Speech for some great (and low cost) suggestions. Whether we are learning in-person or remotely, I certainly will continue to use diverse picture books and literature in therapy with my students and clients. Sharing books is my favorite way to target speech and language goals, but I also love them for all of the real life messages that they impart as well. So to get ready I have curated a list of books that I am preparing to share with my kiddos at the beginning of the school year. These books are some of my personal favorites that encourage, empower, build self-esteem, and spread the message that everyone is welcome. (*Parents, these are great books to read to your own children too. You may even want to suggest/ gift some to your child's new teacher. ) Not only do these books feature characters from diverse backgrounds, but they also tell stories of children who have diverse experiences. No matter what is going on in the world, I will begin the year by creating a welcoming and inclusive environment because everyone should be seen and heard. You can view my back to school book list here. However your school year begins, I wish you all a great year. Stay safe and enjoy the rest of your summer! Shontaye

So I did a thing. I wrote a book. A children's picture book. My new hat is not a literal one, but I wanted to officially tell all of you about my newest title- published author! Whether you have been supporting Having Our Say for years or if you are new here- your support means the world to me and I wanted to share the news with you first! As I started to focus more on integrating literacy into my speech and language therapy sessions, I became acutely aware of the lack of diverse representation in children's books. I became more intentional about sharing and reading books with my students that feature characters from different races, cultures, genders, and ability-levels. Most children's picture books are not diverse- less than 25% of all children's books feature Black and Brown children as the main characters. The search has been rewarding as I discover new authors and illustrators and watch my students connect to these stories. *You can find my curated list of diverse books here* The path to uncovering diverse children's books led to an idea to write my own story. Last year I started drafting the story which has now evolved into my forthcoming book- Liam's First Cut. It is a story about a little Black boy with Autism as he prepares for his first trip to the barbershop. I wanted to write a book about a kid simply being a kid as he prepares to complete a big rite of passage in many children's lives - the first haircut. My book celebrates children of all races and ability levels. It also highlights the bond between a father and son, as well as the significance of the barbershop to local communities. I invite you to learn more about my journey to becoming a new published author. You can also preorder a signed copy of Liam's First Cut here. Presale begins Wednesday 7/29/2020 at 3pm. As always, I appreciate you. Be well and stay safe!

I started the year blogging about BOOKS and the importance of reading! Book reading is not only a nurturing bonding experience to share with your child. It is also a great way to expand a child's vocabulary and enhance language development. Over the last few months, I have been very intentional about highlighting books that include diverse characters and stories. It is critical that all of our children see themselves reflected in the books we read to them. It is equally important for all children to see that anyone can be the hero (or the villain) of the story. With this in mind, I added a special section to the Having Our Say website. I wanted to create a space where you can conveniently search and purchase books that feature children of all races, ethnicities, cultures, religions, etc. This is a dynamic list- I promise to add more titles as I discover them. You can click here to access my diverse book recommendations. I hope you find these titles helpful as you look to create or expand your existing library.

Hey again... If you follow me on instagram you may have seen this video, but I wanted to share it just in case you missed it. Most of us are looking for ways to keep our children engaged and entertained at home these days. This is an easy and fun game that I use in therapy and at home with my 5 year old. Check out the video to see how to play!

I hope this message finds you well and safe social distancing. We have been quarantining for many weeks now. Some days are easy- I feel like we have a handle on working remotely and distance learning. But on other days, nothing seems to go smoothly. This week in New Jersey the governor announced that our schools will remain closed for the remainder of the school year for in-person learning. Although I believe that is the safest decision to protect students and school staff, I also recognize the sadness that this decision brings to NJ families and families across the country. In addition to the loss of proms and graduation ceremonies, there is also the sadness in knowing that our children will not return to see their teachers and their friends for the rest of the year. As the weather warms up and we continue to find new ways to keep our children learning and engaged, I wanted to share some games outdoor games for toddlers and preschoolers. Learning doesn't have to occur behind a screen or only indoors. Move your classrooms outdoors. Although these tips focus on toddlers and preschoolers, there are many things you can do outdoors with your older children as well like taking nature walks, reading a book or listening to audiobooks outdoors. Use these tips to take advantage of the beautiful weather heading our way. Stay safe! ~Shontaye

I wanted to check in and see how everyone is doing? I hope that you are reading this post from the safety of your home and that you are well. I also hope that you are practicing social distancing to protect yourself and your families. I am also writing to remind you that it is OK to not be OK. We are facing unprecedented times and it is ok to experience a myriad of feelings as you navigate through it all. I have been home with my family for almost three weeks now. We are still trying to find balance while working remotely, remote learning for my daughters, parenting, and accepting our "new normal." Some days it feels like we are killing it, some days it feels like nothing is going right, and some days feel like "a fever-dream" as my 16 year old describes it. And guess what- that is all OK. I am giving myself grace and recognizing that I have not instantly become the best teacher/ teletherapist/ homeschooler/ remote educator on the block. I hope you are being kind to yourself (and your children) too. While I have you here, I also want to share some helpful tips that I found from the World Health Organization to help us all focus on healthy parenting, manage stress, talk about COVID-19 with our children and staying positive while at home. We are in this together and we will be OK! I appreciate you and wish you all good health! https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019/advice-for-public/healthy-parenting